As a parent who believes in the power of praying for our children, I realized that there were three desperate cries of prayer I’ve prayed for our first child, Daniel. The first was when I had him in my womb and I had a threatened miscarriage early in the pregnancy; the second was when he became a teenager and my husband Raymond and I felt incapable of raising him; and most recently, when we had to release him to college in a different country, halfway across the world.
I never thought that releasing an arrow could be both exciting and bittersweet. And here was our first about to be released from our quiver.
Mixed emotions battled in my mind and heart when we found out that Daniel got accepted to a university in another country (so grateful for the scholarship!)
Both joy and sadness bubbled up within me.
A part of me was so excited to see my son leave the house and be all that God wants him to be away from us–living the life of a university student.
But there was also a part of me asking the question, “why do this?” Just the thought of not seeing my son in our home or hugging him, and imagining our incomplete dinner times would instantly make me tear up.
“Courage my dear.” I kept saying to myself. I need to trust God’s timing and ways in my son’s life. I will not be able to keep him forever.
As we prepared him (and ourselves) for the inevitable day, we wrote him a letter that we hoped would guide him as he embarked on an adventure soon to be of his own making–his first time on his own in a new school, new country, new normal.
Sharing with you an excerpt of our letter to him. We hope it will be helpful to parents who are raising their kids with the goal that one day, with faith and grace, to wholeheartedly release them from their quivers.
A few college tips for a homeschooler who is now about to see the world…
Dear Daniel,
These are a few college hacks. You will discover more along the way that will fit you as you graciously create your own culture:
Discipline is key. Spiritual discipline tops all disciplines. Prayer, word & worship. Jesus Christ deserves only to be first, your first love. Let your life only revolve around Him. His love never ceases. He will not stop pursuing you.
- Take care of yourself. Self-love will help you love others. REST. Let your soul breathe.
- Responsibility before leisure. Time, Finance & Healthy Living. Calendar it and follow through.
Be friendly and genuinely love on people, of all colors, shapes, and sizes. Chivalry (courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help) is in you.
- Find ways to serve and grow in a community. Be GENEROUS with your life and resources.
6. Communicate consistently and respectfully with your teachers/professors, leaders, roommates, and your family, to us.
7. Be adventurous. Be safe.
8. Discover new things. Treasure old ones.
9. Be present at the moment. Take a lot of memories. They are thoughtful reminders of God’s goodness and grace.
10. Please ask for help. Don’t hesitate. Humility is you.
11. Guard your heart. You only have one. Filter life with God’s word.
12. Embrace the season of learning outside our home.
13. Let love, gratitude, and faithfulness never leave you.
14. Let the world see Christ in you.
15. The gospel has set you free. Freely share it.
These are my top 15 and I can go on and on. But these are more than enough. A mother’s care can be overwhelming and our only excuse is because we love them. In the meantime, 15 loving tips seem like a good enough number.
This is just a part of our story–a mom’s story. (Wait ’til you hear the story of the dad whose best buddy is his son.)
For every parent reading this, who is currently tirelessly and generously sowing acts of service and love on her children, know that God sees your efforts and will not withhold His best from them.
He is a loving Father of reaping and harvest.
He loves our children more than we do and always will. He faithfully takes them by the hand, from one step to the next, from one journey to another in this school called life.
And as we entrust our children to Him, find reassurance in this reminder to,
“Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.”
Deuteronomy 31:6 The Message
Update: Daniel is now in his senior year and is graduating soon. (How time flies!) His adventures, current passions (photography and short reels) and learnings are a constant joy to hear everytime he comes home on break.
Fellow moms, be reassured, God’s plan is to prosper them, not to harm them, to give them a hope and a future–so as you let go and see them off on their new adventure, sit back and watch them fly.
