There’s a big empty frame in our living room that’s been waiting to be filled for a couple of weeks now. Problem is, it’s not waiting for family vacation pics we usually decorate our plain white walls with — nope, this frame is reserved for something more special — our family mission statement. (And it’s taking a bit longer than expected.)
So what exactly is a family mission statement?
“A family mission statement is a combined, unified expression from all family members of what your family is all about – what it is you really want to do and be – and the principles you choose. To govern your family life.” Stephen Covey (7 Habits of Highly Effective Families)
It’s much like a company’s mission statement pinpointing its purpose, goals and standards.
Your family’s unique vision is expressed and anchored by your top ten values and traits — with the purpose of creating a home culture that brings every member together – instilling in each a sense of identity and meaning.
In short, it’s what makes your family #Team (fill in your last name) – who you are as a family, what you believe to be your family’s purpose, core values, aspirations with a fun line or two about what you all love doing, playing, saying or even eating (this was a big one for us).
Why is it a good idea?
As the kids get older, it’s just good practice to have in plain black and white a rundown of who we are, not just as a whole but as individuals in this family, our roles and what we hold near and dear to our hearts.
How to start?
First, include every member in the process. Let each contribute and give each ample airtime to explain (a great time to draw out less verbal members and express what’s been in their heads and hearts all along…you just might be surprised how profound their thoughts are).
Keep it short and sweet.
Have several discussions over a couple of weeks, if needed. The last thing you want is for this to be a chore. Keep the discussion lively and engaging and end it once everyone has had a say…or when their attention is starting to dwindle (for the younger ones especially).
We came up with a list of 11 questions to help you start off your own family mission statement.
- Who are we as a family — our purpose, what word/s comes to mind when we think about our family?
- What things are truly important to us?
- What values, principles and guidelines do we want our family to follow?
- What kind of family do we want to be?
- What are we passionate about?
- What kind of atmosphere do we want to have in our home?
7. What kind of home do we want to come home to?
8. How do we want to treat and speak to one another?
9. What are the unique talents, gifts and abilities of each family member? (Assign one member to describe another.)
10. When we think of our family serving others, what naturally comes to mind?
11. What is our family’s most favorite verse or saying…one that fully embodies what we stand for, or hope to someday?
There you have it! Give a simpler version to younger kids so as not to overwhelm them and let them add their contributions — family mission statements are meant to change and evolve through the years for this very reason.
So, let them add “We love gummy bears and Legos!,” if they want.
We have a 13, 11 and 8 year old and what I thought was going to be a quick 15-minute family discussion turned into a lengthy, funny, revealing, and meaningful time of finding out what each family member’s idea of “mission” and “family” were.
It turned out to be a great opportunity to really find out what they loved and were passionate about.
This is what we came up with so far…
We love God and one another.
We live to share and show God’s love to others.
We give our best to Him for He gave His best to us.
We are fun-loving and adventurous.
We are grateful and enjoy blessing others.
We love learning and travelling the world.
We love ice cream and chocolate but also crave salads and yoghurt.
We will act responsibly for the environment inside and outside of our home.
Our home is a safe, joyful and loving place
We listen to each other.
We are kind to one another and will treat each other with gentleness and respect.
We are creative, reliable, and enjoy making new friends.
We pray for each other and are loyal to one another.
We say “sorry” when we make mistakes and forgive when others do too.
We tell the truth and fulfill promises because we know our word has value.
Our family is God’s home.
We’re still editing and polishing it up but hopefully casting our votes on our top picks in our next meeting should help us hone in on our final ones.
Tip: Take your time coming up with your own. It should resonate with each one to make it an effective reminder.
In the meantime, here are three of our favorites to help inspire you…
We hope this made it easier to create your own family mission statement!
Keep in mind, this is ever evolving and can be a good new year activity for your family to add, subtract, refine and pray through as you welcome another year.
So, from our family to yours, happy creating and Happy New Year!
